A fantastic blog by My maid Dani about her festive baubles…
Over the Festive period those of you who follow Mistress Scarlett Thorne’s Tweets will have noticed that She been talking a lot about castrating me. Whether She intends to actually do it or it is a joke to terrify me (it’s worked!) only time will tell, but i have learnt it is best not to try to second guess Mistress.
However, knowing Mistress as only a maid can, i know that Her knowledge, experience, skills and innate cruelty mean She is more than capable of strapping me down and castrating me. She will almost certainly force me to research the pros and cons of all the different methods for Her to choose from.
Some of you may consider castration a bit extreme, but actually it is perfectly reasonable when you think about it objectively. After all, Mistress’ little dog is neutered for kindly reasons (Mistress is cruel to slaves and kind to animals), so, as i am far below Her dogs in the social order in the Tranny Flat, why should i not be subject to the same treatment?
The whole subject has also shown me how far i have come in my subjugation to Mistress Scarlett’s will in that there is no question in my mind that i would meekly accept Her decision and allow Her to castrate me (and expect to mop up the mess afterwards). After more than six years of servitude and being physically and mentally broken by Her several times my understanding of myself is as Mistress’ property for Her to use, abuse and change at will, no more, no less.
So the choice is always Hers, for me there is only submission.
But of course that does not stop me having feelings about it all. Naturally, part of me is utterly terrified. There is no going back on castration, it will change me for good and be an end to certain feelings desires and abilities. It will almost certainly be extremely painful and traumatic. Somehow i can’t believe Mistress will bother with an anesthetic when seeing me suffer amuses Her so much. She loves inflicting pain on me, it makes a miserable day a happy one for Her.
Oddly though, the only thing that really worries me is explaining to people in my vanilla life what has happened. It’s a mutilation which can’t be hidden. Maybe it would be the end of that other life…
However, i am also excited by it and, weirdly, feel incredibly grateful. It is so kind of Mistress to think so hard about improving me in this way, it shows that She is pleased enough with me to take me to a whole new level of servitude. Once She has done the chop! chop! there is no going back. Cock and balls feel such an affront to me anyway, i am a gurl not a man, i don’t want male urges or parts, i want to meekly submit.
Having said all this there is of course a choice for Mistress…chastity or castration…which is the best means of controlling a slave?
So here we get to the point of the debate…which is better? Chastity or castration? Both have their ups and downs…
Castration
The reason male animals are castrated is to subdue them and make them more obedient. Medically, the balls are what produce testosterone which is what is responsible for all that erratic male behaviour and, in particular, aggression. Basically, testosterone has no use in a slave, especially a feminised one and worse still it causes cancer. So for a prolonged, useful life of servitude castration is the sensible solution.
Added to this is the power the act gives a Mistress over Her minion. As i said, there is no going back, once done a slave has nowhere else to go but serve Her.
Also the fact that a Mistress is capable of inflicting such a brutal horror tells the slave there is nothing She would not do and instills a sense of terror about what She might do next.
Finally, the trauma of the act is likely to completely break even the toughest slave, especially if it is prolonged and done without anesthetic.
There are problems. Obviously, there is an outside chance of killing a slave and creating an awful mess. This though is overcome by a simple search of the many ways in which castration can be performed, after all it happens to animals every day without killing them or much fuss.
As dog owners know, neutering seems to lead to fatness and laziness, but most Mistress’ are used to imposing strict diets and forcing their slaves to work harder anyway so this is not a serious issue.
The only big problem is with a slave who, like me, has a second life. Such an act and its consequences is impossible to hide but in the end this is an issue for the slave not the Mistress. Even here though there is the option of chemical castration which has the desired medical effect but manages to maintain appearances if not er…keeping them up (sic).
Chastity
The appeal of chastity is to use a male sub’s testosterone against him. By imposing absolute control over when and if a slave may have a release the Mistress can impose Her will on the sub. It works well with devices, although this is a bit of a hassle, but even better where a slave is trained to simply obey chastity without a device (this is what happened to me).
Keeping testosterone does make slaves more creative and hard working, these are the only advantages of testosterone.
The biggest pleasure of chastity, lost with castration, is having the slave desperately pleading for a release. This can be most amusing but also extremely irritating depending on the mood of the Mistress and how busy She is.
There is also the advantage that with chastity a Mistress can continue to terrorise the slave mentally with the threat of castration, however, a although Dommes like Mistress Scarlett Thorne have plenty of ways to terrorise a slave’s mind other than threatening castration.
In the end the problem is that testosterone washing around leads to aggression, whining, a slave thinking of himself instead of Mistress, a slave behaving like a man and disobedience even if it is controlled and a means of control and this is utterly unacceptable.
It is though a good means of control where a slave by necessity has a second life where his servitude needs to remain a secret.
In the end the conclusion seems clear. Castration is the best solution where a Mistress has decided to take ownership of a slave in a long term or lifelong scenario. It improves the slave’s health, makes the slave more feminine and, most importantly, takes it beyond the point of return as a slave and guarantees meek submission.
Chastity seems to me to be an introduction, a useful method before the Mistress/ slave relationship develops into something serious and long term. After that happens a more permanent solution is probably required. In this context it is not an ugly brutal act but a beautiful point of mutual devotion in a D/s relationship even more profound than collaring or even branding.
So, having worked through the arguments, in my heart of hearts i know that Mistress Scarlett Thorne will one day probably castrate me. It’s the sort of scenario that makes me wake in a sweat of terror at night, but a part of me hopes She does it because i know i will be healthier and a better slave. There is nothing more I want but to serve Her and being able to focus more on Her without being affected by testosterone which makes me think more of myself is obviously a wonderful thing.
i suspect the only thing that stops my Christmas baubles from being removed and hung as trophies on Her tree is a mutual interest for me to maintain my second life. When i fulfil the dream of 24/7 live in servitude there will be no reason not to go ahead with it. This surprisingly does not put me off the hope of achieving that goal which will almost certainly happen one day.
In the meantime Mistress may be planning chemical castration for me as an interim measure.
But whatever She decides, however scary, i accept it unquestioningly and with gratitude because whatever is best for Her is best for me.