The Road to FemDom Nirvana by Dani Tallulah

A brilliant and insightful piece of writing for those who are considering SERIOUS servitude.  For those who just enjoy the occasional naughty session DO NOT READ THIS – it will scare you!

The other day Mistress Scarlett Thorne called me into the dungeon to help Her train a new TV slut. It has to be said for a newby the gurl did reasonably well, she sucked on my tiny clit/ cock enthusiastically and i only felt her teeth a few times and she responded well to Mistress thrashing her with a cane. And she was a pretty little thing in a black lace dress.

Of course there is a long way to go to be a proper slut, she needs to be more skilful with her mouth (i mean she didn’t make me want to cum) and definitely NO teeth, clients won’t come back if that happens. More importantly, even with my tiny member she was started choking and pulling away when i deep throated her. Really! I mean a guy with a normal size or big cock expects a TV whore to take it all the way without fusss and let him hold it in there and pump the depths of her throat without the whore spluttering.

So what was initially a 6/10 for sucking was downgraded to a generous 4/10 which isn’t bad for a newby. I am sure she realises Scarlett Thorne will expect rapid improvements though…If she wants to serve Mistress as a whore she has to be ready to be used and abused at will whatever the discomfort.

The little episode got me thinking though (not a regular occurrence for my little brain). An awful lot of sniveling little men come to Mistress Scarlett declaring undying devotion, begging to be Her maid or a slut for Her to pimp out. For many it is a fantasy which lasts to the moment Mistress allows them a release at the end of the session, others genuinely desire it. Basically, they want to be me and be serving Mistress round the clock as a maid, whore and general slave.

i don’t say this to blow my own trumpet, although i know i am extremely privileged and lucky, but i don’t think almost any of these would be “totally devoted 24/7 slaves” quite realise what essential quality is needed…i have to say it took me at least two years of service to fully grasp it myself although Mistress Scarlett obviously saw early on that i would eventually understand (after being completely physically and mentally broken several times). So here goes…

THE MOST IMPORTANT quality required in serving a fabulous Mistress like Scarlett Thorne is the right mentality. To have that privilege you MUST be a TOTAL SUBMISSIVE!

So what does this mean?

Well it doesn’t mean coming along just paying for a session of things you want to do and cumming at the end….although Mistress Scarlett enjoys these things A LOT and values Her time with all of you who visit Her.

To serve Her as a maid or a whore or both regularly, to be trusted with the key to Her flat and allowed to come every day means you have to completely give up on yourself. In other words forget about all your own desires, ambitions, hopes, pleasure EVERYTHING. The entire focus of your life (or at least as much of it as you can give) must be Mistress and only Mistress what She wants, what She desires, what makes Her happy.

Think of it as a sort of FemDom zen buddhism. The road to Nirvana involves stripping yourself of all earthly needs and desires and feeding your spiritual self. In the end when you reach it you have become literally nothing but part of the greater spiritual consciousness. That is how a Dominatrix’s slave should be. The path of servitude sees you strip away all your desires, feeling of self control, concern about yourself. Nirvana is the moment that you are totally an extension of the will of Mistress and utterly under Her power, with no thoughts of yourself.

i’m nowhere near there yet, but i have gone down the path further than most and i can tell you that there is no greater feeling of joy and contentment than under Mistress’ power and essentially a menial extension of Her existence.

If you truly desire the same thing then my mantra “work harder and suffer more” must for you become not an hour of kinky session but a way of life, fixed permanently into the hard drive of your brain and above all other things that clutter your mind. You must accept drudgery, pain, fear and that your body and mind and no longer your own. Forget ever cumming again (unless a client pays for it or Mistress treats you) sexual pleasure is something you give to clients who pay to use you not for you to enjoy.

So to help you understand i will list some scenarios. Read them and to yourself be honest and ask how you would respond. Then you will know if you are suitable for real servitude.

• you turn up at the Tranny Flat expecting to spend a day with Mistress but instead She gives you a very long list of chores and says She is going out but expects them done when she returns the next day. The chores will take hours and you know you are supposed to go to work. Do you stay on your own until all the chores are completed?

• Mistress says you have not cleaned the floors properly and orders you to lick them all clean with your tongue. They are filthy. Do you do it?

• You are on a packed train with Mistress trying to be incognito. Mistress is annoyed because She should not have to stand. Do you get on all fours and allow her to sit on the train for hours on you with lots of people looking?

• Mistress honours you with being allowed to whore in Her dungeon. you see a client who pays £100 for an hour and under the law all the money is yours. You are short of cash, but do you give all the money to Mistress anyway?

• You get to see lots more clients and make £1,000 in a month. Do you still give Mistress the money?

• Amazingly, a client wants phone sex and domination with a tranny. He sends you hundreds of pounds by post. you are totally broke but do you still give all the money to Mistress?

• Mistress takes you to another Domme’s party and says you are part of the entertainment. She wants you to make a good impression for her friend and says you must allow everybody who wants you to f*** you or have a blow job from you even if they smell bad, are really old, very ugly. Most of the men want to try you out. Do you you let them all use you?

• Mistress has a client who smells incredibly badly but wants to be sucked by a tranny slut. She orders you in, the smell is so bad that it makes you want to wretch and it looks like he hasn’t washed in ages. Do you give him a blow job?

• Several men have f***ed your arse and you’re really hurting. you think you may be bleeding around your rim a little. Mistress has another client with quite a big cock who wants to stick it in your bum. Do you say yes?

• Your jaw is aching and mouth feels sore from sucking men. There are more waiting to be serviced. Do you enthusiastically carry on?

• Mistress has taken you to a tranny club where men pay to have sex with TV gurls. One decides to r**e you without asking just grabbing you and dragging you into a booth. Do you let him do it?

• In the same club do you also service every man who comes up to you with his c**k out whichever hole he wants to use?

• Clients wear condoms do they have to wear condoms not because of your personal health but because Mistress can’t make money from a whore with STDs. Is this true?

• you have an invite to a big dinner where you would be a guest of honour, a concert or theatre performance you have always wanted to see or something else really amazing and one off in your vanilla life that can’t ever be repeated, but Mistress has texted saying that She requires you to come round and spend the evening doing menial chores (She may have to go out and leave you alone). Do you still go to serve Mistress?

• There is no task to menial in service of Mistress be it plucking scummy hair out of the bathroom plug, scrubbing floors, scrubbing the toilet, doing piles of washing up and washing?

• You were supposed to be at work an hour ago, but Mistress says She needs you to do a pile of chores for Her. Do you pretend to be sick and stay to do Her bidding?

• Mistress wants a quiet evening watching films. She asks you to massage her feet for 10 minutes. She then ignores you and is engrossed in the film. An hour passes and your hands have gone through aching pain and are now completely numb meanwhile your knees kneeling before Her are in agony, you know you should have started home already, Mistress seems happy and is completely ignoring you but is clearly enjoying the foot massage. All you can do is stare at Her feet and you are not allowed to look at the film but focus on Mistress. Do you stay until She tells you to finish even if that means hours more pain and discomfort and make you very late getting home?

• Mistress tells you that you are very privileged to be part of her life and that you can no longer pay to do kinky sessions with Her because She wants you as a proper slave. Do you still turn up when required to serve Mistress?

• Mistress needs some shopping done. She sends you with no money. Do you pay for it all and not ask for the money back?

• Mistress decides that you are very privileged to be allowed to serve Her and have access to Her premises and store lots of sissy clothes with her. She tells you that you should start paying a monthly share of the bills and not get sessions in exchange just carry on being Her menial. Do you agree?

• After hours of working incredibly  hard on chores Mistress comes back looks at your work and shouts at you for not being good enough even though you think the place is gleaming. Do you apologise, accept Her chastisement and feel genuinely sorry not resentful inside?

• The concept of sexual pleasure is whoever you are servicing and is paying the money should have it and you you should not enjoy it yourself except possibly by accident, with Mistress’ permission or because a client pays to see you cum?

• Mistress tells you that you are in chastity but does not feel the need to put a device on you to ensure it. She says you can only cum when She allows it. Do you accept this without question and resist the temptation to have a sneaky w**k?

• Mistress wants to be picked up from the airport and driven across the country to an event. You have an opportunity to go on a party bus to the same event. Do you meet Mistress and drive Her instead of enjoying the party?

• you have paid Mistress for a session but instead she gives it to a slave She quite fancies. Do you accept this without question and not complain or feel upset?

• Mistress has a lot of slaves seeing Her for sessions. She requires you to sit for many hours in a tiny kitchen not making a sound or moving and only coming out to clean Her dungeon up in between slaves. In this time you can’t go to the toilet, watch TV, eat, drink or do anything just sit in total silence completely bored. Do you stay and do as you’re told by Mistress?

• Mistress has honoured you to go on a road trip to a kinky market in Birmingham. Do you pay for the train, upgrade to first class for Mistress and pay for taxis without hesitation or waiting for Her to even ask?

• Mistress orders you to wear hard steel nipple clamps as punishment until She releases you. After just an hour the pain is unbearable (trust me it is whatever your fantasies may tell you), you are having flashing pains from nerve reaction in other parts of your body, you find it almost impossible to think beyond the pain and feel a bit dizzy. Do you resist slipping them off and pretending they are on under your bra or begging Mistress to let you remove them even after the torture continues for hours more?

• Do you agree with the concept that whatever Mistress wants or requires you should be willing to do whatever the sacrifice, discomfort or danger to yourself personally? (this is what is meant by NO LIMITS).

• Mistress requires you to remove all your body hair to be more fem. you know this will raise awkward questions in other parts of your life. Do you do what Mistress orders?

• Mistress has been promising to take you to a show with her which you are desperate to see. Suddenly another slave tells you that She is taking him instead. Do you accept it without feeling upset and not complain to Mistress?

• you feel really ill and can barely move but do you agree that you only take sick leave from serving Mistress if you are contagious and could make Her ill?

There are many more scenarios i could describe. All the above are ones i have experienced. Most i have passed but some i failed to my cost at the time (Mistress Scarlett is wholly ruthless when she punishes failure). The answer to each one should be YES or rather YES MISTRESS! without hesitation or forethought.

A lot of those scenarios you may fantasise about but when the boredom, real severe pain and drudgery of servitude become clear then you either quit or change yourself into being a better slave to be able to accept all these things.

In all honesty i can tell you i get pleasure from the most menial, horrible thing serving Mistress, more pleasure than anything else. i don’t need to cum any more all i need is the connection between slave and Owner. When i have been banished for weeks or months because of failing one or two of the above it has made me physically ill as well as taking me to the point of mental breakdown because i cannot cope with being separated from Mistress or part of Her life. This is the true meaning of being broken. It is a wonderful thing.

But those scenarios are easy. Sometimes the most difficult ones are letting go of material possessions like the rich young man who wanted to follow Jesus but gave up when he was told he would need to give all he had to the poor. So imagine these scenarios which are beyond anything i have done.

• you win the jackpot on the euromillions. More than £100 million is there for you to take. Do you give the ticket and ALL the winnings to Mistress?
• Mistress allows you to move in. Great honour. Do you redirect all your earnings to Her account for Her to use?
• Mistress allows you to serve Her 24/7 and live with Her. Do you hand over all your property and possessions to Her?

However, we all have our limits and i know i have much further to go. The ultimate question is whether you would surrender your life to save Mistress? There is an episode of Family Guy where Brian the dog is willing to die to give Peter a life saving organ donation. When i saw that it made me think, could i do that for Mistress? To my shame and regret i think the answer would be no, at least at the moment. But for me that underlines how short i am of reaching and being a true slave. After all life without Mistress for me would be empty and worthless but of course like many of you i also have a very active second life.

Maybe such questions only apply if i really was able to become a 24/7 slave…which of course is the dream. At the point of devoting everything to Her and giving all other parts of life up then maybe a slave can reach a true state of FemDom Nirvana and be totally spiritually at one with their owner. Even then the ultimate sacrifice is a hard one to contemplate.

For all of you reading this at the start of your journeys, i want you to know there is nothing better to do but don’t be foooled by your fantasies, it is a hard road to true happiness as a totally submissive slave who is an extension of a Dominant’s will.